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[Applause]

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thank you

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cool all right uh you want to move on to

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all right so we've had requests for this

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sort of stuff for the past couple of

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weeks

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um or months actually so here is by

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popular Quest some Arby's news wow okay

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and it is some weird Arby's news

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well I like Arby's news and I like weird

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news this is uh really scratching the

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itch okay this is some weird freaking

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Arby's news all right we'll bring this

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up on uh

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on the screen here Arby's launches new

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limited edition smoked bourbon inspired

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by Smoke House sandwiches perfect

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is it

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I I don't know what this headline means

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so they're launching their own okay so

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from the headline they're Arby's is

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launching its own bourbon

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inspired by Smokehouse sandwiches

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inspired by their shitty Rosary sandwich

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okay

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um Aries Arby's is bringing in smoked

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meat the smoked meat experience to

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Bourbon with the release of the new

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limited edition Arby's smoked bourbon

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okay has anyone ever said that you know

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this bird would be better if it was more

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like smoked meat I wish I could just

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drink my meat is that possible if I

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could just drink my uh my Arby's

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sandwich

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but I want a little tinge of alcohol to

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really think but but when I'm done I

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want to be drunk yeah I want to get nice

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and [\h__\h] up when I'm eating an Arby's

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burger it's so I've been craving these

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uh Bloody Mary's that have like the

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bacon and the olives and the pickles and

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all that stuff that's kind of like

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drinking meat kind of I guess so

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a little bit but ain't no Arby's bourbon

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that's for sure

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uh according to Arby's America American

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Oak is smoked in the patent process with

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Hickory

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uh Mesquite and pecan smoke from

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Sadler's Smokehouse in Texas where much

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of Arby's finest meat cuts are smoked uh

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the oak is then placed into bourbon the

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bourbon is then Woodcraft finished by

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placing the smoked wood inside where it

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is heated and cool to replicate

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the variation of temperature throughout

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the seasons the result is a familiar

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smokiness and bold Flavor that all

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Arby's fans know to expect

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no inexpect oh my God

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all right well uh how much is this

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Arby's smoked bourbon will be available

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exclusively at arby'smoked bourbon.com

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beginning Wednesday October 19th at noon

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right now for 60 I'm going there right

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now come on Joe we're going there right

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now I'm actually gonna go

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okay we always miss out remember we I

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miss out on every exclusive deal

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and I'm not missing out on another one

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this is my year to get an exclusive deal

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submit okay there we go

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all right uh bourbon smoked like Arby's

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me okay here we go sold out [\h__\h]

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dude again this is [\h__\h] you goddamn

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[\h__\h] piece of [\h__\h] [\h__\h] God damn

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would have been great if Alex like was

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doing this on his show it's [\h__\h] so

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I'm not even doing the show we're just

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going to Arby's and ordering some

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bourbon smells like meat

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I mean we can't catch a [\h__\h] break

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when it comes to this [\h__\h] we can't get

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the Ritz cracker Oreos like what is

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happening [\h__\h] [\h__\h] all of it

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okay as a consolation prize Mike if you

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keep scrolling down you can still get a

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real country style rib sandwich or a

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Smokehouse Brisket Sandwich yeah

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I guess I don't know what it does either

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these on eBay already yeah can we go to

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eBay can you get can you get alcohol on

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eBay

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you can buy an empty bottle of alcohol

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on eBay

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so somebody bought this ordered it drank

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it and selling you the bottle

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put me in jail that's not even good

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and uh wrong

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big time I I searched for Arby's

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Smokehouse on uh on on eBay I'm not

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seeing anything although I can't get uh

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Arby's uh six DVD set 13 hours of

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smokehouse brisket

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uh and eight hours of

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eight hours of turkey commercials

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six hours of of meat getting smoked I'm

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already seeing Christmas commercials you

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might as well pull the trigger now is it

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it's a six DVD set 13 hours of

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smokehouse brisket and eight hours of

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turkey commercials what more could

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Grandma want this is a great stocking

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stuffer for all your nieces and nephews

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or for people you don't like either way

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actually this is good for the office uh

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you know white Santa secret Santa in a

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gift exchange oh my God yes is what I

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always wanted 13 hours of RV Smokehouse

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commercials meat getting smoked is this

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is this the Blu-ray version because I

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only want 4K I got a Blu-ray player I

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don't want to use it 5.1 surround

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there's nothing more romantic than

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leaving a trail of onion petals to the

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hotel room that's right

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you give her a glass of uh Arby's

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dipping sauce and she can eat them along

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the way you tossed her into bed and try

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to find a hole

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you gotta warn people

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uh it goes like for this it was eBay uh

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auction this the the absolute craziest

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marketing marketing campaign ever this

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is a six DVD set of 24 hours worth of

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Arby's meaty goodness these limited

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edition DVDs came out in 2015 with much

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fanfare from the press and fans of

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Arby's supplies of these juicy tender

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Smoky DVDs was small and are likely

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coveted by the Arby's fan base

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I didn't realize there's an Arby's fan

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base but apparently there are and we

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might be part of it we just might not

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even know it dude there's still an ICP

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like

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thing yeah okay

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uh I I don't know for 36 dollars I might

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pull the trigger on this

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and I just want to know is it 13 hours

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worth of commercials about the The

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Smokehouse whatever or is it a 13-hour

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long commercial

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hmm

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I'm hoping it's 13 hours of just meat

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footage I don't know I'm gonna burn it

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and put it up on YouTube though

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but I might get like a copyright

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seasoned assist if I do this kind of

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stuff put it on bit shoot

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people need to know put on a rumble they

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don't come after you there they say 13

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hours of Smoke Smoke House brisket

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commercials but then the special edition

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also includes eight hours of the turkey

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commercial

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holy sh all right here you go a link for

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you on YouTube Arby's beat you to it

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Mike oh wow this is what I want this is

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what I need

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yeah I had no idea this existed Alex

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all right well let's watch this

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whole commercials here we go

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all right people this is going to be the

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note the length of the video

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the video is 13 hours long

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please God free us from them

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you use this at Guantanamo Bay yeah it

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[Music]

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this is it is this this is it it's just

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like this music report a few minutes

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this yeah I'm gonna fast forward like

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no no no it's they're just for like the

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entire commercial they're like it's

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hours of them slow roasting a brisket

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for like 13 hours they're slow roasting

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things I'm going to I'm going to the end

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I'm at the most played section of

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YouTube so I'm at hour 12 minute 51 and

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15 seconds

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come on keep that [\h__\h] out take

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do it so I have a hard time believing

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that this me if it is indeed meat in an

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oven it could be a [\h__\h] human like

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you know butt steak there could be some

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carnivore it could be Dumber throwing

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some goddamn nobody knows what's going

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on in here does anybody believe for a

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second that even if this was a hundred

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percent whatever her beef they claim it

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is or pork that that's ending up at the

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restaurant like it's it's at best like

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cheap deli meat this is the kind of meat

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you wipe off your shoe like it's really

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it's probably not a shoe meat this is

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shoomey

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all right so to answer Joe to answer

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your question go to might go to 13 hours

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I'll race you

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what happens

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oh [\h__\h]

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so 13 hours before a minute okay

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come on we're gonna do this

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oh my God he takes it out he's taking it

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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all right got a slicer like Kramer there

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does anybody believe this

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I think you're exactly right Joe I think

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it's just like when like the McDonald's

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uh there's the you can find the videos

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the McDonald's like their Test Kitchen

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and they make food that looks like the

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pictures and then you show what you

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actually get at this at the McDonald's

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store and it's dramatically different

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I I live in Texas I see people who smoke

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brisket for hours and hours on end 13

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hours

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and it does like I had some today I

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bought on Sunday it's [\h__\h] amazing

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like Texas brisket is amazing and for

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[\h__\h] sake like yeah we've

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see even if you look at the Arby's ads

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it doesn't even come close to this are

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they pretending like this is meat or is

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it special effects Joe I like to eat

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[Laughter]

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special effects

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they're pumping it up you're claiming

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without evidence that Arby's is not

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serving Brisbane

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can we do you think we get Alex to do an

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emergency Saturday broadcast where he

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just covers this 13-hour yeah he should

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eat Arby's for 13 hours

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as like a donation drive like the more

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you donate the more Alice keep eating he

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keeps eating Arby's

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at every 100 threshold he'll put another

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piece of an RV yeah unless you want to

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throw up yeah I hope it makes you want

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to throw something to block this monster

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in my toilet this morning

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oh God

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all right we'll move on to another story

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we covered Arby's news right there no

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I'm not a conspiracy theorist

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S I have I have another like food

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related thing I think I'll save this for

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Saturday we did enough that we did a lot

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of food yeah did a lot of food all right

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so I've got um uh story about the them

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wanting to Geo engineer the sky to

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reflect the sun can't possibly go wrong

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oh yeah that's we've only been talking

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about it for years and so other people

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and now they're finally coming out

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saying it's a good idea we should talk

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about that

272
00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:37,320
a it's a it's a conspiracy they say

273
00:12:41,389 --> 00:12:39,000
they're never gonna do it they're not

274
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:41,399
doing it this is the camera I do want to

275
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:44,040
mention anybody uh go look up on

276
00:12:47,269 --> 00:12:45,600
Wikipedia

277
00:12:49,610 --> 00:12:47,279
um or wherever you want to go operation

278
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:49,620
Popeye they were doing this [\h__\h] in the

279
00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:50,760
60s

280
00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:52,980
to try to control the weather during the

281
00:12:56,870 --> 00:12:54,660
Vietnam war

282
00:12:59,389 --> 00:12:56,880
um this is not made up this is not

283
00:13:01,490 --> 00:12:59,399
pseudoscience this is not you know a

284
00:13:03,110 --> 00:13:01,500
conspiracy theory that's been done for

285
00:13:05,269 --> 00:13:03,120
60 years and so now they're going to do

286
00:13:06,230 --> 00:13:05,279
it again because Mr Burns did it so why

287
00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:06,240
not

288
00:13:11,629 --> 00:13:09,240
uh White House is pushing ahead research

289
00:13:14,569 --> 00:13:11,639
to cool Earth by reflecting back

290
00:13:17,449 --> 00:13:14,579
sunlight that's a funny headline

291
00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:17,459
this is the Mr Burns plan and uh Bill

292
00:13:22,129 --> 00:13:19,860
Gates has talked about this you know he

293
00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:22,139
loves it he loves this so here here are

294
00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:24,540
the bullet points right here uh the

295
00:13:29,269 --> 00:13:27,000
White House Office of Science and

296
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:29,279
Technology policy is coordinating a

297
00:13:33,050 --> 00:13:31,560
five-year research plan to study ways to

298
00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:33,060
modify the amount of sunlight that

299
00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:34,800
reaches the Earth in order to

300
00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:37,320
temporarily temper the effects of global

301
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:40,200
warming there's a a nuclear explosion

302
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:42,120
also factor into their proposed solution

303
00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:44,160
maybe it does

304
00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:46,980
or just buying people big hats big hats

305
00:13:56,990 --> 00:13:55,670
uh the second bullet point here is uh

306
00:13:58,790 --> 00:13:57,000
there are several kinds of sunlight

307
00:14:01,009 --> 00:13:58,800
reflecting technology being considered

308
00:14:04,790 --> 00:14:01,019
including stratospheric aerosol

309
00:14:08,590 --> 00:14:04,800
injection uh Marine Cloud brightening

310
00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:08,600
and circulus Cloud theme or serious

311
00:14:14,509 --> 00:14:11,300
circulus cloud thinning

312
00:14:16,129 --> 00:14:14,519
circulus at pruna what Circo circus

313
00:14:18,769 --> 00:14:16,139
Cloud thinning so they want to thin out

314
00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:18,779
their clouds clouds up theirs

315
00:14:22,370 --> 00:14:21,300
the Sears Cloud to the highest ones yeah

316
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:22,380
they want to thin those out they're too

317
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:24,839
fat they're fat clousy to get get on the

318
00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:26,940
put on treadmill so uh stratospheric

319
00:14:31,790 --> 00:14:29,160
aerosol injection involves spraying and

320
00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:31,800
aerosol like sulfur dioxide into the

321
00:14:35,889 --> 00:14:33,720
stratosphere and because it has the

322
00:14:38,870 --> 00:14:35,899
potential to affect the entire Globe

323
00:14:41,389 --> 00:14:38,880
often gets the most attention

324
00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:41,399
but that is not Chemtrails but they're

325
00:14:47,269 --> 00:14:44,100
not doing it right now whatever you may

326
00:14:49,069 --> 00:14:47,279
think they're not doing it how could you

327
00:14:51,110 --> 00:14:49,079
have done this they haven't done it

328
00:14:52,629 --> 00:14:51,120
what'd you do they didn't do anything

329
00:14:56,509 --> 00:14:52,639
yet

330
00:14:59,449 --> 00:14:56,519
uh while arguments of moral hazard have

331
00:15:01,910 --> 00:14:59,459
handicapped research efforts the idea of

332
00:15:04,430 --> 00:15:01,920
getting the idea is getting more urgent

333
00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:04,440
attention in the worsening climate

334
00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:07,980
crisis oh is it so polluting our

335
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:09,240
atmosphere

336
00:15:14,990 --> 00:15:12,839
with sulfur dioxide

337
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:15,000
it doesn't have a very good ring to it

338
00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:16,860
they need a better name for sulfur

339
00:15:22,970 --> 00:15:19,800
dioxide like uh Happy reflective lights

340
00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:22,980
or glitter it's called Sky sprinkles Sky

341
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:23,940
glitter

342
00:15:32,269 --> 00:15:30,540
[Applause]

343
00:15:33,650 --> 00:15:32,279
yeah uh the White House has coordinating

344
00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:33,660
a five-year research plan we just read

345
00:15:36,230 --> 00:15:34,980
that so we read all the bullet points

346
00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:36,240
they're gonna do it there and I would

347
00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:38,040
say this is just my crazy thinking

348
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:39,720
they're already doing this

349
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:43,019
probably and that they need this uh uh

350
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:45,480
past they need a real initiative

351
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:48,300
publicly to kind of

352
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:50,459
forgive what they've already done

353
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:51,720
they're like they'll have some kind of

354
00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:53,040
provision in there

355
00:15:58,310 --> 00:15:55,800
that will state if we have done this in

356
00:16:00,110 --> 00:15:58,320
the past we are absolved of all

357
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:00,120
wrongdoing because we're doing this

358
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:03,060
research now with public approval so oh

359
00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:07,019
yeah just fine it's the CDC and all that

360
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:09,060
vaccine stuff yeah it's a similar

361
00:16:14,449 --> 00:16:11,100
similar philosophy

362
00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:14,459
stratospheric uh in injection is now on

363
00:16:18,889 --> 00:16:16,920
a recommendation for the Earth's

364
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:18,899
injection

365
00:16:23,389 --> 00:16:20,880
okay

366
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:23,399
but it's not a chemtrail that's still a

367
00:16:26,990 --> 00:16:25,620
conspiracy why don't they call it they

368
00:16:29,870 --> 00:16:27,000
need to call this

369
00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:29,880
uh this this this philosophy of spraying

370
00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:32,820
things in into the atmosphere to reflect

371
00:16:36,550 --> 00:16:34,440
something like litter that is a sky

372
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:36,560
vaccine

373
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:41,880
need to do it's fauchy in a jet pack

374
00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:44,100
with with needles flying up into the sky

375
00:16:48,889 --> 00:16:46,800
yeah that's what he needs to do

376
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:48,899
It's a Sky vaccine that's why he's not

377
00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:50,519
on TV as much anymore he's busy

378
00:16:55,610 --> 00:16:52,800
vaccinating the sky against covet yeah

379
00:16:58,490 --> 00:16:56,990
uh

380
00:17:00,050 --> 00:16:58,500
so I do have a quick question on this

381
00:17:02,150 --> 00:17:00,060
one so if you follow the logic here okay

382
00:17:04,370 --> 00:17:02,160
the the we have climate change the

383
00:17:06,409 --> 00:17:04,380
global warming the the environment the

384
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:06,419
Earth is warming we're going to put Sky

385
00:17:11,870 --> 00:17:08,280
glitter up there she's going to inject

386
00:17:14,329 --> 00:17:11,880
the sky glitter vaccine yeah the spring

387
00:17:15,949 --> 00:17:14,339
human feces on people exactly that's

388
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:15,959
exactly exactly how it works

389
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:16,679
um

390
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:19,799
so that would then cool the atmosphere I

391
00:17:23,449 --> 00:17:21,000
would reflect on it would cool the

392
00:17:25,309 --> 00:17:23,459
atmosphere reduce the Albedo effect and

393
00:17:26,990 --> 00:17:25,319
reduce the temperature of the planet

394
00:17:28,789 --> 00:17:27,000
right that's is that the general concept

395
00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:28,799
here that's the idea

396
00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:30,780
does that mean then that I can continue

397
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:33,720
leaving my 1974 Dodge Power Wagon idling

398
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:36,900
yes just because the attempt hey they

399
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:38,700
said if the temperature goes up was it

400
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:40,020
two degrees we're all going to explode

401
00:17:43,490 --> 00:17:42,000
or something like that so hey we we

402
00:17:45,169 --> 00:17:43,500
injected a bunch of crap in the sky

403
00:17:46,909 --> 00:17:45,179
we've reduced the temperature now we can

404
00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:46,919
put more [\h__\h] in the atmosphere from

405
00:17:51,890 --> 00:17:48,720
Earth and hey we're good so keep running

406
00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:51,900
your diesel trucks yeah I I think so I

407
00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:53,460
think uh I'm not sure what they're

408
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:54,360
getting at here because this doesn't

409
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:55,919
seem like a solution

410
00:17:59,990 --> 00:17:58,020
uh well uh

411
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:00,000
three ways to reduce sunlight the idea

412
00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:01,440
of sunlight reflection first appeared

413
00:18:07,730 --> 00:18:04,500
prominently in 1965 report to president

414
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:07,740
Lyndon B Johnson entitled restoring the

415
00:18:12,470 --> 00:18:10,200
quality of our environment

416
00:18:14,090 --> 00:18:12,480
so back in 1965 they were they started

417
00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:14,100
doing this okay

418
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:15,600
yeah no Jenna played a clip of Johnson

419
00:18:21,409 --> 00:18:18,240
saying that but um like I said operation

420
00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:21,419
pop by during the Vietnam war 1967. they

421
00:18:27,169 --> 00:18:22,980
were doing this [\h__\h] to try to

422
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:27,179
manipulate the weather over Vietnam yeah

423
00:18:35,470 --> 00:18:29,050
all right let's move on

424
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:35,480
[Music]

425
00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:37,919
that wasn't really goofy news that was

426
00:18:42,409 --> 00:18:40,200
more depressing yeah I mean it's it's

427
00:18:45,409 --> 00:18:42,419
goofy that they're considering this

428
00:18:47,029 --> 00:18:45,419
I mean I guess like you can you can

429
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:47,039
consider all solutions and possibilities

430
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:48,720
it just to me

431
00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:50,400
it doesn't seem like a good idea if you

432
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:53,220
want to like prevent pollution and all

433
00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:54,960
this kind of stuff it doesn't seem like

434
00:18:58,610 --> 00:18:57,240
a good thing to do

435
00:19:00,890 --> 00:18:58,620
all right so I got a couple more stories

436
00:19:03,169 --> 00:19:00,900
here we have a a woman who attacks the

437
00:19:04,669 --> 00:19:03,179
police with bees oh

438
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:04,679
unorthodox

439
00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:07,260
yep we have a Mexican priest known as

440
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:09,480
father pistolas who suggests everyone

441
00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:11,760
carry a gun

442
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:14,460
um we have a story about castrating the

443
00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:16,500
hippos that were once owned by Pablo

444
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:18,360
Escobar that's some good news on that

445
00:19:21,650 --> 00:19:19,919
front yeah I was wondering where we're

446
00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:21,660
gonna do that yeah about time we got

447
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:22,860
around to that one uh and we have a

448
00:19:26,390 --> 00:19:24,660
story about a naked man wearing a cowboy

449
00:19:28,490 --> 00:19:26,400
hat who then attacks a woman with

450
00:19:30,950 --> 00:19:28,500
machete perfect headline let's do that

451
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:30,960
yes all right

452
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:33,120
I'm sorry naked man wearing only a

453
00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:35,280
cowboy hat

454
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:36,980
good this one

455
00:19:41,210 --> 00:19:38,940
well he wanted to protect his head from

456
00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:41,220
the overly hot sun because we don't have

457
00:19:44,690 --> 00:19:43,020
Sky glitter up there yet I do prefer my

458
00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:44,700
Cowboys naked

459
00:19:47,930 --> 00:19:46,160
I do

460
00:19:50,150 --> 00:19:47,940
generally if I have to deal with the

461
00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:50,160
cowboy you better be naked yeah I want

462
00:20:00,470 --> 00:19:56,570
well uh naked man wearing cowboy hat

463
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:00,480
attacks women with machete in medley I'm

464
00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:02,760
not sure medley is oh it's in Florida

465
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:04,740
generally from Florida yeah okay of

466
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:06,780
course it's in Florida yeah brother

467
00:20:13,789 --> 00:20:10,500
State yeah yes it is the uh-uh brother

468
00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:13,799
stay yeah uh-uh brother uh South Florida

469
00:20:18,470 --> 00:20:16,500
man is facing three felony charges after

470
00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:18,480
police accuse him of attacking a woman

471
00:20:23,090 --> 00:20:20,220
with a machete because

472
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:23,100
she didn't have a crack pipe uh-uh

473
00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:25,020
brother

474
00:20:27,950 --> 00:20:26,580
well I'm sure there's a lot of people in

475
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:27,960
Florida that don't have crack pipes or

476
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:29,280
there might be a lot of people that do

477
00:20:32,870 --> 00:20:31,260
he just attacked the wrong person was he

478
00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:32,880
like was he trying to bum a crack pipe

479
00:20:38,210 --> 00:20:34,440
off somebody like a cigarette

480
00:20:39,830 --> 00:20:38,220
okay yo you got a crack pipe for me yeah

481
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:39,840
I I don't know

482
00:20:44,029 --> 00:20:41,460
we'll dig in we'll find out more

483
00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:44,039
Miami-Dade Police arrested 45 year old

484
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:46,860
Roberto Hercules

485
00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:48,840
that's a good name according to the

486
00:20:53,810 --> 00:20:50,820
arrest report Hercules was completely

487
00:20:56,090 --> 00:20:53,820
naked wearing nothing but painted nails

488
00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:56,100
in a cowboy hat when he attacked a

489
00:21:00,289 --> 00:20:56,940
victim

490
00:21:02,150 --> 00:21:00,299
uh at Northwest 74th Street and South

491
00:21:03,770 --> 00:21:02,160
River Drive you're looking how they

492
00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:03,780
noticed he was had painted nails yeah

493
00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:06,120
like like that makes a difference like

494
00:21:10,130 --> 00:21:08,520
when you're covering your junk but I

495
00:21:12,289 --> 00:21:10,140
guess it is a detail and I do appreciate

496
00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:12,299
that level of detail

497
00:21:16,549 --> 00:21:14,760
uh police said the woman was riding her

498
00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:16,559
bicycle in the area when Hercules asked

499
00:21:20,930 --> 00:21:19,020
her for a pipe officers wrote that the

500
00:21:23,990 --> 00:21:20,940
attack began after she told him she

501
00:21:25,789 --> 00:21:24,000
didn't have a pipe often very confusing

502
00:21:28,490 --> 00:21:25,799
a lot of people think you got a pipe but

503
00:21:30,110 --> 00:21:28,500
in fact you don't have a pipe and it is

504
00:21:31,850 --> 00:21:30,120
a point of conflict it is a point of

505
00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:31,860
contention when pipes you don't give me

506
00:21:35,870 --> 00:21:34,020
a pipe I don't got a pipe

507
00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:35,880
and then

508
00:21:40,789 --> 00:21:38,940
Terror ensues was he naked before or

509
00:21:42,470 --> 00:21:40,799
after that

510
00:21:44,149 --> 00:21:42,480
I think when you go out asking for pipes

511
00:21:45,590 --> 00:21:44,159
you want to be naked first well I want

512
00:21:47,690 --> 00:21:45,600
it could have been clothed but it was

513
00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:47,700
just like in in warm-up pants and a

514
00:21:51,230 --> 00:21:49,500
warm-up jacket he asked and then he

515
00:21:53,570 --> 00:21:51,240
became so enraged he tore off his

516
00:21:55,490 --> 00:21:53,580
clothes I see your same like you know

517
00:21:56,990 --> 00:21:55,500
like like the way the Ultimate Warrior

518
00:22:00,590 --> 00:21:57,000
rips off his T-shirt or something like

519
00:22:01,549 --> 00:22:00,600
that when he flies into a blind rage

520
00:22:04,610 --> 00:22:01,559
um

521
00:22:06,310 --> 00:22:04,620
I I want to see I want to say like he

522
00:22:09,350 --> 00:22:06,320
was sitting in his room

523
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:09,360
and like he's like I gotta go get a pipe

524
00:22:13,310 --> 00:22:11,940
and then he took off all his clothes and

525
00:22:15,710 --> 00:22:13,320
then he that's how he left the house

526
00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:15,720
with his cat and painted nails with a

527
00:22:20,029 --> 00:22:18,360
machete with this machete that's right

528
00:22:21,230 --> 00:22:20,039
where'd the machete come from and maybe

529
00:22:23,029 --> 00:22:21,240
we'll find out

530
00:22:25,610 --> 00:22:23,039
uh the woman jumped off her bicycle when

531
00:22:28,669 --> 00:22:25,620
Hercules chased after her and continued

532
00:22:31,130 --> 00:22:28,679
to strike her with machete on the head

533
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:31,140
and arm holy [\h__\h] Hercules eventually

534
00:22:36,049 --> 00:22:33,780
ran off he got bored and tired of his

535
00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:36,059
situation so he ran off afterwards

536
00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:38,100
uh the woman suffered extensive injuries

537
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:41,820
including a fractured skull and a small

538
00:22:46,430 --> 00:22:44,340
brain bleed and broken arm and large

539
00:22:48,230 --> 00:22:46,440
lacerations to her hand she was

540
00:22:49,909 --> 00:22:48,240
hospitalized in stable condition and an

541
00:22:51,350 --> 00:22:49,919
intensive care unit at the time of

542
00:22:53,990 --> 00:22:51,360
report on Friday the police said they

543
00:22:58,490 --> 00:22:54,000
found Hercules sleeping in a tent next

544
00:23:00,770 --> 00:22:58,500
to a group of businesses on West's fifth

545
00:23:02,210 --> 00:23:00,780
Court okay this probably just waiting

546
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:02,220
for those businesses to open up so you

547
00:23:06,169 --> 00:23:04,559
can go to work and he needed that pipe

548
00:23:07,789 --> 00:23:06,179
to go to work he wants a once a short

549
00:23:09,289 --> 00:23:07,799
commute he wants to be able to I just

550
00:23:10,730 --> 00:23:09,299
give me 20 feet down the road some

551
00:23:12,409 --> 00:23:10,740
people drink coffee in the morning some

552
00:23:16,190 --> 00:23:12,419
people do crack

553
00:23:18,409 --> 00:23:16,200
uh according to the uh

554
00:23:20,690 --> 00:23:18,419
uh according to the report Hercules was

555
00:23:23,690 --> 00:23:20,700
once again completely naked and had

556
00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:23,700
painted nails once again completely

557
00:23:27,890 --> 00:23:25,380
naked that means that they're

558
00:23:30,230 --> 00:23:27,900
insinuating that he got dressed in

559
00:23:33,169 --> 00:23:30,240
between his attack and sleeping in a

560
00:23:34,970 --> 00:23:33,179
tent I will Hazard to say he went to bed

561
00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:34,980
naked and he never got dressed after

562
00:23:39,590 --> 00:23:37,260
that attack suggesting that Hercules the

563
00:23:40,730 --> 00:23:39,600
famous Hercules does not own pants I

564
00:23:42,289 --> 00:23:40,740
don't think so

565
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:42,299
I think if you're packing what he's got

566
00:23:46,730 --> 00:23:44,100
you want to show that off

567
00:23:49,669 --> 00:23:46,740
maybe you know he needed a clean pair

568
00:23:51,409 --> 00:23:49,679
and he had to kill another like loin of

569
00:23:54,110 --> 00:23:51,419
some kind he had to kill something yeah

570
00:23:57,169 --> 00:23:54,120
Stitch him up into a new pair of undies

571
00:24:00,289 --> 00:23:57,179
so the police also found two cowboy hats

572
00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:00,299
inside his tent so he's got a backup

573
00:24:04,909 --> 00:24:03,120
maybe he's got his nice Sunday cowboy

574
00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:04,919
hat yeah I mean he could have put a

575
00:24:09,830 --> 00:24:07,080
cowboy hat with a rubber band around you

576
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:09,840
junk though no he doesn't want to soil

577
00:24:14,090 --> 00:24:11,760
his trusty cowboy hat that's part of his

578
00:24:15,669 --> 00:24:14,100
his gimmick that's his that's his image

579
00:24:18,710 --> 00:24:15,679
that's his brand

580
00:24:21,169 --> 00:24:18,720
his brand is a cowboy hat with a machete

581
00:24:23,710 --> 00:24:21,179
and being naked while you do [\h__\h] up

582
00:24:25,789 --> 00:24:23,720
[\h__\h] he should be on The Walking Dead

583
00:24:27,830 --> 00:24:25,799
honestly I would watch that character in

584
00:24:29,690 --> 00:24:27,840
The Walking Dead that guy would go far I

585
00:24:31,930 --> 00:24:29,700
would like to see a Comic version of the

586
00:24:34,490 --> 00:24:31,940
tales of Hercules the trials of Hercules

587
00:24:36,110 --> 00:24:34,500
this Hercules and he's a naked cowboy

588
00:24:37,909 --> 00:24:36,120
with a machete

589
00:24:40,250 --> 00:24:37,919
so he has to go clean out some Stables

590
00:24:42,710 --> 00:24:40,260
he has to kill a Hydra he has to uh what

591
00:24:45,049 --> 00:24:42,720
what do you have to do bag the the the

592
00:24:47,450 --> 00:24:45,059
um the sirens no that was there was

593
00:24:49,490 --> 00:24:47,460
somebody else that was Jason anyway

594
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:49,500
this would be a different type of

595
00:24:53,630 --> 00:24:51,000
Hercule a different Adventure you know

596
00:24:56,149 --> 00:24:53,640
they had her Arnold did Hercules went to

597
00:24:59,930 --> 00:24:56,159
New York this could be Hercules Hercules

598
00:25:02,570 --> 00:24:59,940
gets a crack pipe you know another

599
00:25:05,450 --> 00:25:02,580
fabled tale and we could use we could

600
00:25:08,330 --> 00:25:05,460
use phrases from this news story

601
00:25:10,490 --> 00:25:08,340
um for for various parts of the tale of

602
00:25:12,830 --> 00:25:10,500
Hercules for example the phrase here

603
00:25:14,690 --> 00:25:12,840
reading verbatim Hercules was once again

604
00:25:17,510 --> 00:25:14,700
completely naked and had painted nails

605
00:25:19,669 --> 00:25:17,520
yes and those nails are magical they

606
00:25:21,549 --> 00:25:19,679
like reflect sunlight to prevent the

607
00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:21,559
viral tells us that

608
00:25:26,630 --> 00:25:24,299
it's in the back uh also this line

609
00:25:29,930 --> 00:25:26,640
Hercules eventually ran off

610
00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:29,940
yeah just okay uh after the police

611
00:25:34,430 --> 00:25:31,740
announced their presence Hercules yelled

612
00:25:36,350 --> 00:25:34,440
at uh that Hercules yelled that he

613
00:25:37,669 --> 00:25:36,360
wanted to get shot but eventually

614
00:25:40,310 --> 00:25:37,679
complied

615
00:25:43,490 --> 00:25:40,320
uh investigators wrote so this guy

616
00:25:45,830 --> 00:25:43,500
isn't vulnerable much like the Hercules

617
00:25:49,070 --> 00:25:45,840
of old he knew those bullets would not

618
00:25:50,990 --> 00:25:49,080
scratch him at all he said shoot me I

619
00:25:52,730 --> 00:25:51,000
want to get shot I'm invulnerable I'm a

620
00:25:55,490 --> 00:25:52,740
demi-god

621
00:25:58,430 --> 00:25:55,500
I'm the son of Zeus yeah no [\h__\h]

622
00:25:59,810 --> 00:25:58,440
I [\h__\h] write a griffin to work holy

623
00:26:00,830 --> 00:25:59,820
[\h__\h]

624
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:00,840
foreign

625
00:26:06,649 --> 00:26:03,240
police said the victim was able to

626
00:26:09,649 --> 00:26:06,659
identify Hercules in a photo lineup from

627
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:09,659
her hospital bed ma'am is this the Naked

628
00:26:13,549 --> 00:26:11,580
Cowboy you saw with the machete and

629
00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:13,559
painted nails so no that's a different

630
00:26:17,630 --> 00:26:15,960
one yeah

631
00:26:20,210 --> 00:26:17,640
now he faced the charges of attempted

632
00:26:22,789 --> 00:26:20,220
murder attempted armed robbery and

633
00:26:25,730 --> 00:26:22,799
aggravated battery with a weapon his

634
00:26:28,370 --> 00:26:25,740
trusty magical machete machete plus five

635
00:26:33,169 --> 00:26:31,370
and probably he probably is is mache is

636
00:26:35,570 --> 00:26:33,179
magical he probably uses it like a a

637
00:26:38,230 --> 00:26:35,580
dowsing Rod where it leads him to crack

638
00:26:41,029 --> 00:26:38,240
pipes and an unclaimed crack

639
00:26:43,010 --> 00:26:41,039
maybe that was one of one of the the

640
00:26:45,289 --> 00:26:43,020
items he got during the trials of

641
00:26:47,330 --> 00:26:45,299
Hercules is he was able to collect his

642
00:26:49,610 --> 00:26:47,340
magic plus five machete he ain't putting

643
00:26:54,169 --> 00:26:49,620
that down he pulled his machete out of

644
00:26:59,750 --> 00:26:56,289
like how like this

645
00:27:01,490 --> 00:26:59,760
like find the uh like was it Lancelot or

646
00:27:04,669 --> 00:27:01,500
or King Arthur that pulled the sword

647
00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:04,679
obviously Arthur he he who removes the

648
00:27:07,630 --> 00:27:06,720
machete from this homeless guy Shelby

649
00:27:11,390 --> 00:27:07,640
king king

650
00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:11,400
of this block and you

651
00:27:15,110 --> 00:27:13,260
and you will have access to as many

652
00:27:16,850 --> 00:27:15,120
crack pipes as you wish and if anybody

653
00:27:19,669 --> 00:27:16,860
denies you a crack pipe by the street

654
00:27:23,029 --> 00:27:19,679
you must strike them down

655
00:27:24,769 --> 00:27:23,039
crack type show Rain from the sky and

656
00:27:26,570 --> 00:27:24,779
she'll be a plenty also you'll have a

657
00:27:28,430 --> 00:27:26,580
spare cowboy hat in case you need to it

658
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:28,440
is your Birthright

659
00:27:37,650 --> 00:27:45,529
[Music]

660
00:27:49,549 --> 00:27:47,210
I'd love to find out he's gonna

661
00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:49,559
hopefully back out the street in no time

662
00:27:53,870 --> 00:27:51,130
like to wait for season two

663
00:27:56,029 --> 00:27:53,880
[Laughter]

664
00:27:57,769 --> 00:27:56,039
if they could if they could make Eight

665
00:28:00,230 --> 00:27:57,779
Episodes out of that newest Lord of the

666
00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:00,240
Rings series on Amazon they got 20

667
00:28:06,070 --> 00:28:03,779
episodes out of Roberto hurts like Steve

668
00:28:10,789 --> 00:28:06,080
Steve the doll with them and just go

669
00:28:13,549 --> 00:28:10,799
Robert Robert whatever in fact yeah well

670
00:28:16,610 --> 00:28:13,559
maybe you mean Roberto the doll oh my

671
00:28:19,490 --> 00:28:16,620
God him and yeah Roberto so we we just

672
00:28:22,730 --> 00:28:19,500
began an end with Roberta with Robert

673
00:28:24,950 --> 00:28:22,740
a mythical doll a cursed doll and a

674
00:28:26,930 --> 00:28:24,960
mythical man

675
00:28:29,450 --> 00:28:26,940
wow interesting we gotta get out of

676
00:28:31,250 --> 00:28:29,460
everything it's a buddy cop movie I I I

677
00:28:33,409 --> 00:28:31,260
like it it is

678
00:28:35,570 --> 00:28:33,419
he is is his buddy the second cowboy hat

679
00:28:37,430 --> 00:28:35,580
or the machete no it's the doll he has

680
00:28:39,710 --> 00:28:37,440
to go rescue the doll because he's

681
00:28:41,450 --> 00:28:39,720
imprisoned at the Museum so you've got

682
00:28:43,610 --> 00:28:41,460
Roberto Hercules he's already in Florida

683
00:28:45,649 --> 00:28:43,620
so he's gonna have to go to Key West and

684
00:28:47,870 --> 00:28:45,659
rescue Robert the doll I'm with you now

685
00:28:50,149 --> 00:28:47,880
yeah and then he's got to drag the the

686
00:28:52,310 --> 00:28:50,159
doll back up north with him you know for

687
00:28:54,590 --> 00:28:52,320
him in his tent yeah capture ghosts

688
00:28:55,669 --> 00:28:54,600
along the way you know yeah exactly

689
00:28:58,669 --> 00:28:55,679
figure it out

690
00:29:01,430 --> 00:28:58,679
perfect it writes itself I want to spend

691
00:29:02,990 --> 00:29:01,440
the rest of my life with you all right

692
00:29:04,490 --> 00:29:03,000
we're getting into dialogue here we're

693
00:29:07,730 --> 00:29:04,500
not doing scripting right now we're just

694
00:29:09,730 --> 00:29:07,740
kind of doing loose plot items so lose

695
00:29:12,830 --> 00:29:09,740
Blood Out yeah

696
00:29:14,930 --> 00:29:12,840
I'm madly in love with you all right we

697
00:29:16,430 --> 00:29:14,940
did it all people

698
00:29:18,230 --> 00:29:16,440
we did do you want to know what the

699
00:29:19,850 --> 00:29:18,240
Twitter ad is for me today let's see

700
00:29:21,830 --> 00:29:19,860
yeah

701
00:29:24,889 --> 00:29:21,840
is it about creepy dolls or machetes or

702
00:29:27,830 --> 00:29:24,899
cowboy hats Twitter at us for today

703
00:29:29,510 --> 00:29:27,840
so I gotta look for the promoted tag

704
00:29:30,889 --> 00:29:29,520
oh they're hiding them from me they

705
00:29:32,149 --> 00:29:30,899
don't want me to do it maybe they know

706
00:29:34,190 --> 00:29:32,159
I'm doing this

707
00:29:35,570 --> 00:29:34,200
boy I haven't seen a promo oh here we go

708
00:29:38,450 --> 00:29:35,580
puck

709
00:29:42,230 --> 00:29:38,460
what the [\h__\h] Puck is was Puck what the

710
00:29:43,850 --> 00:29:42,240
[\h__\h] to you yes Twitter

711
00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:43,860
it's probably some kind of political

712
00:29:47,750 --> 00:29:45,960
dumb [\h__\h]

713
00:29:52,310 --> 00:29:47,760
what's happening

714
00:29:54,470 --> 00:29:52,320
we're supposed to do this talk so for

715
00:29:56,570 --> 00:29:54,480
people who are just now catching up on

716
00:29:58,669 --> 00:29:56,580
this I've I've been blocking every

717
00:30:00,830 --> 00:29:58,679
Advertiser here on Twitter

718
00:30:03,049 --> 00:30:00,840
as I scrape to the bottom of the barrel

719
00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:03,059
of the most obscure [\h__\h] and I

720
00:30:07,610 --> 00:30:04,980
recommend if anybody is on Twitter just

721
00:30:10,130 --> 00:30:07,620
block him block every promoted

722
00:30:11,630 --> 00:30:10,140
and this is Puck for Puck news the fight

723
00:30:15,649 --> 00:30:11,640
between Mitch McConnell and pedophile

724
00:30:17,870 --> 00:30:15,659
over Blake Masters has extended so this

725
00:30:20,810 --> 00:30:17,880
is like about [\h__\h] news you got this is

726
00:30:23,029 --> 00:30:20,820
[\h__\h] but we don't know

727
00:30:24,710 --> 00:30:23,039
it looks like looks like stir in the pot

728
00:30:27,710 --> 00:30:24,720
to make the right wing look great like

729
00:30:29,330 --> 00:30:27,720
this is like Russian disinformation if I

730
00:30:31,610 --> 00:30:29,340
don't think it's Russian necessarily but

731
00:30:34,190 --> 00:30:31,620
it's almost like the right hates each

732
00:30:38,049 --> 00:30:34,200
other I like they're all just words I'm

733
00:30:42,289 --> 00:30:40,669
nobody likes Mitch McConnell everybody

734
00:30:44,330 --> 00:30:42,299
knows you want to find out

735
00:30:46,190 --> 00:30:44,340
I think his mom even likes him you know

736
00:30:49,669 --> 00:30:46,200
some sometimes people like us if you if

737
00:30:51,169 --> 00:30:49,679
you do you can go to obdm pod.com and

738
00:30:52,490 --> 00:30:51,179
support your show we got some T-shirts

739
00:30:54,710 --> 00:30:52,500
over there bags just done some amazing

740
00:30:57,049 --> 00:30:54,720
artwork so has uh Paul

741
00:30:58,850 --> 00:30:57,059
and uh got an amazing merchandise over

742
00:31:01,850 --> 00:30:58,860
there we gotta update it soon or join to

743
00:31:05,750 --> 00:31:01,860
patreon and get some additional content

744
00:31:07,490 --> 00:31:05,760
join the Discord and uh just have a lot

745
00:31:10,669 --> 00:31:07,500
of fun you know what just be a part of

746
00:31:12,230 --> 00:31:10,679
the magic I mean why not sure be a part

747
00:31:15,289 --> 00:31:12,240
of the magic

748
00:31:16,789 --> 00:31:15,299
but and and I was hardly prepared for

749
00:31:18,529 --> 00:31:16,799
the show I have a bunch of stuff that

750
00:31:20,450 --> 00:31:18,539
I'm like do I do it do I not because

751
00:31:21,230 --> 00:31:20,460
like I said Ukraine covered kind of

752
00:31:23,210 --> 00:31:21,240
boring

753
00:31:25,970 --> 00:31:23,220
if you were in the Discord

754
00:31:27,350 --> 00:31:25,980
you would never run out of news that you

755
00:31:28,610 --> 00:31:27,360
were interested in we have all the

756
00:31:31,250 --> 00:31:28,620
categories

757
00:31:34,190 --> 00:31:31,260
people posting all day this is too much

758
00:31:35,990 --> 00:31:34,200
very supportive it's too much news well

759
00:31:37,669 --> 00:31:36,000
Joe you may have been unprepared it came

760
00:31:39,110 --> 00:31:37,679
out as a phenomenal segment I gotta say

761
00:31:42,470 --> 00:31:39,120
it worked out really well

762
00:31:45,049 --> 00:31:42,480
all right well I'm married so you know

763
00:31:47,570 --> 00:31:45,059
or whatever come on wrong all right

764
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:47,580
thank you Cratchit cranky Joe shot Lugo

765
00:31:52,250 --> 00:31:49,500
everyone goodbye

766
00:31:54,529 --> 00:31:52,260
pass keep watching the machetes people

767
00:32:05,350 --> 00:31:54,539
I'm gonna eat God damn it or southern

768
00:32:16,300 --> 00:32:08,810
I would like to oh yeah [\h__\h] this

769
00:32:16,310 --> 00:32:19,510
[Music]

770
00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:23,630
that's about all shablagu [\h__\h] ubu [\h__\h]

771
00:32:28,070 --> 00:32:25,620
good dog

772
00:32:31,190 --> 00:32:28,080
[Music]

773
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:31,200
polite us out give us an email app our

774
00:32:35,210 --> 00:32:32,890
big dumb mouth and

775
00:32:38,650 --> 00:32:35,220
[Music]